Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
