I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
