So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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