i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
