Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
