this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
