It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
