why didn't you poke me back
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
