Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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