I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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