ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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