Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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