She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
