these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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