I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
