your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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