I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
