no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
