i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
