It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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