did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
