Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.

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(434): View more from Virginia

I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.

(1-434): View more from Virginia

Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.

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(251): View more from Alabama

As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"

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(530): View more from California

Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin

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(812): View more from Indiana

well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis

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