Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining

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(971): View more from Oregon

I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

explains the nose bleeds.

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(410): View more from Maryland

she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.

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21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"

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(240): View more from Maryland

I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.

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(512): View more from Texas

you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday

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(812): View more from Indiana

Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye

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(248): View more from Michigan

I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?

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