OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
third nipple confirmed
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
