At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
