Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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