she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
