he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
