if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
