hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it's great music for shaving your balls
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
