Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
