Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
