Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize