after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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