YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
