I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
