You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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