I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize