BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
