It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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