I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just cut my nipple shaving
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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