The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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