I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize