its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
