she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
