I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
