I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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