I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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