so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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