Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize