Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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