So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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