You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize