she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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