She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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