East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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