My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
