nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
