That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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