How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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