like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
