Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
