Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
