careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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