every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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