Nicole vs. Life
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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