Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
