so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
