and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
