Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The adults are the big ones right?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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