I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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