i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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