where am i from again
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
