no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
