sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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