i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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