THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
